Waiting

Waiting, waiting waiting. Feeling warmed by the cup of earl grey tea on my knee and in my belly. Staring at a blue and white checkered tea towel that we have left to dry on one of the heaters. Living alone in this apartment is making my deepest fears come alive to haunt me: will the clothes catch on fire? will someone tear through the apartment door or break a window? will the gas from the stove poison us to death? And I thought I worried enough as it was in Sydney! But I suppose it’s like any situation; wherever you are, whoever you are with, your mind (or at least mine) will always find something to be worried about.

I am waiting for the apartment owner Carla to come and give us the final pieces of information and household items that we need to feel truly at home. Things like an Internet password (kind of ironic since this is used to connect with the world OUTSIDE home), the mop (essential since walking across the floor with socks on makes them dirty) and the keys to the letterbox (should I receive any love letters, serenades or administrative documents). A couple of things have refused to work here already so I will have to ask her about those also. We haven’t had showers yet- I am curious about the hot water- I have a feeling that it will take ages to heat up, may cut out halfway or something equally annoying. Then again these inconveniences are only minor at this stage.

Talked to my boyfriend this morning, seeing his face makes me want to be with him so much more (I guess it would be a bad sign if it didn’t!). He is very loving and supportive of me being here. He hasn’t fully gotten to know the real Trina yet, that is going to definitely take time, but I think he knows me well enough after over a year of being together. I thought this trip might break us, and it still can, but at the moment I speak for myself when I say that it is only making me feel even stronger for him. Distance, may you love not loathe our hearts.